From Miss M

2022 was the year I put myself back together. I started with a hysterectomy. Less than 3 months later, what was supposed to be a simple knee scope turned into a lateral release and 5 months of physical therapy. Three months after that, a mastopexy and reduction. Through all of this, I’ve lost 61 lbs and today, I weigh what I did the day I gave birth to my first child 21 years ago. I still have a long ways before I hit that goal. I’ve been married to a wonderful man for 22 years. While going through all of these surgeries are tough on your own body, when you have been partnered to someone for as long as we have been, it’s often overlooked the toll your own surgeries take on your partner. My husband, for years, has tried to tell me how desirable and beautiful he finds me. While I trust that man with my heart and soul, I’ve never truly understood him when he has said those things.

Between my second and third surgeries, I finally realized that he was going through these life changing events with me and when I started looking in the mirror, I started seeing some of these changes for myself. My sister had taken some boudoir shoots earlier in the year and I thought they were beautiful and initially I thought how fun it would be to gift that for my husband. Self conscious, I immediately shut the idea down. Now that life was throwing every curveball possible, I stopped and thought maybe it was time to really take a look at myself and see if I could see what he saw. I wanted to see myself through his eyes and share with him that I could see myself as he saw me.

I googled and came across a number of photographers offering services in Sioux Falls, but when I read Shalista’s site, I knew she would be the one to help me accomplish my goal. I booked my appointment for October-then my third surgery came up and had to postpone. More recovery, more scars.

By the time I got to my shoot in December, the initial nerves I had were gone. My only request was that she not make me feel ugly. I had always felt unseen and not special. I wanted to feel unique and beautiful. The day of my shoot, my husband was out of town. I went in excited and ready. The makeup artist was amazing. I gave her free rein to do me up as she saw me. I took a few selfies and sent them to my husband to which I received several wows and sexy and beautifuls. When it came time for my shoot, Shalista took me through each step, arch, smile, toe point, finger curl. It was wonderful. And when we were done. She asked if there was anything else and I asked for one more photo. Up to this point, I had hidden my scars, my mom stomach, my stretch marks. But my goal was to see me. So, I stripped down to all my glory, wearing nothing but my wedding ring and the first necklace my husband ever gave me and asked her to find a way to show me the real me. Today, I get to see my revel and I can’t wait to meet me again.

What made you decide to hire me as your photographer?: Reading you website was empowering. It was about building woman up, not making them sex objects. When I reviewed your pictures, they were classy, yet sexy. Each woman told her own individual story and I wanted someone to help me tell mine.

What made you decide to do a boudoir session? Describe how to came to that decision!: My sister had one done this summer. Her pictures were beautiful and when I saw them I thought it would be nice if someone could capture me that way so I could gift my husband a picture for our anniversary. But I had 3 surgeries this year and never felt right about myself so I didn’t book it. Eventually, I came around to the fact that I needed to do this for myself and I wanted and needed to see the woman that my husband always tried to tell me he saw and I booked it.

How were you feeling before your shoot? Any thoughts going through your head?: Excited and nervous. I’m not a fan of my body and I don’t think I’m pretty. I feel awkward in makeup and lingerie and heels and felt the camera would only show that.

Afterwards how did you feel?: Excited and empowered. I’m writing this before my photo revel. I know that Shalista found ways of capturing the real me throughout the shoot and I can’t wait to meet the real me.

What would you tell your friends about your experience?: That if you’ve ever wanted to try a photo shoot like this, try it with Shalista. I only did what I felt comfortable doing, that there was no pressure. I felt natural and normal and raw and that was what I was looking for. It was an incredible, personal and personalized experience.